Friendly Firsts

So i just got home from Zac and Jamie's wedding. It was really nice ceremony. Jamie looked beautiful and they both had this glow about them, no matter where you were in the room you could feel how happy they were. It just got me thinking about how that could be me eventually or even in a year from now, they were in the same position i am now, like i know i won't be married in a year but to think that i could be is really strange. One of the other things it got me thinking about is will i ever be able to find someone who makes me that happy? i tend to have some dating/commitment issues you see, like only staying with people who are abusive and crazy but when someone who is good for me or makes me happy comes along i kinda freak out and get really distant because i am worried that i am going to get hurt because that tends to happen to me. And my last thought was what if i never get married or if i do and i get divorced so i am forced to live my life all alone with a billion cats and become a crazy lady mmmm that would suck i would be a loner i don't think i could handle it at all i would just flip out and die.

Anyways congrats Zac and Jamie!!