Saturday, July 14, 2012

Welcome to the Rooftop

Last Friday was one of the Rooftop Concert nights. I went with Zack and Maren, wehad dinner and then met up with people from our ward. Usually I eat up the concert environment but I wasn't really feeling it... Brian and Robert, who swung by for the last few songs were awesome, but besides that, not one person talked to Zack, Maren and I and we were in a pretty large group. Sad times, no?? We were a total outside party. It was interesting to go to something and be excluded by those I attend church with after being so excepted by the people in AA so quickly. I guess another factor was that all of the songs that were played were Tom Petty's. I had never heard of him before and there was a reason for that. We do not see eye to eye in the music department. But it was cool. I still had fun with my little group of friends. They are the best.

Saturday, July 7, 2012


To celebrate my country's independence I went with some AA members to the Spanish Fork Reservoir. In all my years of living so close to it I had no idea of its existence. It was absolutely stunning. I couldn't believe that I had never heard of this magnificent place. I love swimming in natural waters and although this wasn't all natural my needs were more than met. There was moss and it was deep, slimy and smelt of fish. Ahhh. I was in heaven. It was freezing cold but it felt so nice compared to the sun beating on my back. A few of us swam all the way across and back. I am a good swimmer but that took much more energy than I anticipated. I had so much fun though. We just splashed around in the water and hung out all afternoon.  Zack even caught himself a fish!

Later that night a group of us went to Rock Canyon Park and watched all the fireworks that were lit across the valley. It was a sight. I do love fireworks. There is just something about an explosion of color in the sky that I just can't resist. Between the fireworks, good company and the late night hang out, I really couldn't have asked for a better day!

Turning Japanese

Last week was fairly oriental. My good friend Sairah moved back from Germany last weekend so I took her out to dinner. Her husband was just deployed so no expenses were spared on our gilrs night. She deserved the very best! We ended up eating in West Jordan at this all you can eat sushi bar and it was the most delicious. I was stuffed to the max. I was worried I would throw up I ate so much. It was amazing.

Hilary and I also had some Japanese fun times. We watched Battle Royale. The original Hunger Games. It was the most legit. Fake blood all over the place and killing with all kinds of things. I loved it.

After that we set off some fireworks and the looked super Japanese too. Unfortunately, I had some problems. I cut my thumb and got blood all over the place and I started a small fire but other than that things went well. We must have set off a good 50 fireworks, no big ones mind you. Just some flowers, boats and sparklers. We had a good time. I love bonding nights with that girl.

Sunday, July 1, 2012


I have realized recently that I have been quite lucky with how my life has turned out. Based on some decisions that I have made I am surprised at how lucky I have been. In junior high I had a really rough group of friends. My best friend and the boy of choice at the time were both dealing marijuana to our friends and other students in the school. For being only 13 I had interacted with an illegal substance quite a bit. I had been around my friends when the smoke and dealt. I had seen it, smelt it, touched it but refrained from smoking it. One day at school during lunch my friends took a walk to go smoke. I went with them which was abnormal for me during school hours. We walked a few buildings down to hide while everyone lit up. Something was different about this time. I am not sure exactly what it was. It is too long ago to remember exactly how I was feeling. But I finally gave in. I smoked. It was disgusting. All I remember thinking is that I would rather eat a plant then smoke one. It was very unpleasant. I couldn't get high but I watched everyone else sky rocket to cloud 9.

We returned to school and were immediately sent to to office. Someone had seen us. Police came in and talked to us. They brought in the drug dogs. One kid was arrested and all of my friends were expelled or suspended. But somehow, I was allowed to keep coming to school. I have no idea how that worked out. A teacher defended me. Said I was a good kid. But beyond that I think I was just lucky. The friendships I had with all of those people and the easy access I had to drugs faded. I cannot explain how grateful I am for that. There were several times where if I had the easy access that I did that I know I would have smoked. I am so sure that if I stayed in contact with those people that I would have become a frequent user.

I had a similar experience with drinking when I was a sophomore. Someone bought me some drinks, I drank them but then I lost contact with that person and have yet to drink since but occasionally I still want to drink all my problems away. I have terrible depression and drinking or smoking seems like an easy escape from the world.

As a child I always saw smoking and drinking as glamorous. I grew up in Chicago and Tokyo where that is the norm. I thought it was sophisticated because that is what most adults did, especially the attractive ones. It looked like a beautiful thing. As I have gotten older I have seen that this isn't the case. I recently had an Aunt who passed away due to drinking and smoking and now that I hang out at a halfway house with Zack I can see how much damage this lifestyle can have. I may still occasionally have the urge to use to escape some emotional turmoil but I know that I won't. It really isn't worth it. I am so grateful that I have lost contact with the people who would so easily supply things for me. I think it was a factor that could be a part of why I am still alive.