We returned to school and were immediately sent to to office. Someone had seen us. Police came in and talked to us. They brought in the drug dogs. One kid was arrested and all of my friends were expelled or suspended. But somehow, I was allowed to keep coming to school. I have no idea how that worked out. A teacher defended me. Said I was a good kid. But beyond that I think I was just lucky. The friendships I had with all of those people and the easy access I had to drugs faded. I cannot explain how grateful I am for that. There were several times where if I had the easy access that I did that I know I would have smoked. I am so sure that if I stayed in contact with those people that I would have become a frequent user.
I had a similar experience with drinking when I was a sophomore. Someone bought me some drinks, I drank them but then I lost contact with that person and have yet to drink since but occasionally I still want to drink all my problems away. I have terrible depression and drinking or smoking seems like an easy escape from the world.
As a child I always saw smoking and drinking as glamorous. I grew up in Chicago and Tokyo where that is the norm. I thought it was sophisticated because that is what most adults did, especially the attractive ones. It looked like a beautiful thing. As I have gotten older I have seen that this isn't the case. I recently had an Aunt who passed away due to drinking and smoking and now that I hang out at a halfway house with Zack I can see how much damage this lifestyle can have. I may still occasionally have the urge to use to escape some emotional turmoil but I know that I won't. It really isn't worth it. I am so grateful that I have lost contact with the people who would so easily supply things for me. I think it was a factor that could be a part of why I am still alive.