Thursday, July 29, 2010

a sucidal pedophile?

Today was totally the worst day I've had in a long time. Bleh. I had to participate in some studies for my psychology class. They weren't very enjoyable. I thought they would be somewhat cool but it was all creaptastic. So the first study I participated in was one where I had to look at pictures of people and rate how sexually attracted I was to them. I thought that it was going to be people close to my age and just different races and stuff like that but I was wrong. I hate to rate pictures of children. It was the creepiest thing I have ever done in my life. I walked out of that room feeling like a pedophile after looking at pictures of small children for so long. I then rode my bike all the way across campus to my next study. When I was riding to the bike rack I crashed in the middle of the parking lot. I flipped over my bike, swore super loud and then laid in the road until some old Hispanic came over to see if I was okay. Everyone else just looked at me when I swore and drove off. It was awesome. The next study I did was one where they wanted to figure out how people with anxiety and depression process stuff. The first thing they had to do was stick this giant wet net on my head that measured brain stuff. They then proceeded to stick me in a dark room with a computer. I was totally trippin. Anyways I had to press some buttons and look at some arrows. And then I had to list things as fast as I could and it was the worst thing because I kept stressing out and spacing and then I felt stupid and that made everything worse. I was then asked about my symptoms and then things got crazy. I was asked a few questions about suicidal thoughts and I was pretty honest about my answers and then everyone was freaking out and the guy asking me the questions had to call his supervisor who had to talk to me and make sure that I am not suicidal. It was awful. He kept asking about my therapist and if I was okay and then he told me about the suicidal hotline and how I could call 911 it was the worst moment of my life. I am fine. I am not currently suicidal. It was just awkward and I was just thinking I should have lied like everyone else who you have asked these questions to. It was just the worst moment of my life. I have to go back and finish both of the studies in 2 weeks. I really really don't want to. And to complete my day Eric canceled our adventure for next week.
Today was the terrible.


  1. Aww Jamie. :( I love you friend! We need to hang out sometime. If you ever just need to talk to someone and you happen to be at BYU you can come visit me at my work! i get so bored...

  2. sounds like some crazy fun in school. holy smokes. sorry about the bike crash!!!!

  3. So Jamie.. that first post is from me... I guess I was still signed into my work email and that is why it says "English" wrote that haha. but it was me. :)